that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
