is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
