4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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