If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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