Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
