Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
