I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
