So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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