beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
