omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
