just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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