Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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