time to smoke my breakfast
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
