Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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