Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
