OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
