the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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