I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
