Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
