oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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