dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
