you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
