Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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