she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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