he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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