dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
whose ass print is on the piano?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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