he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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