After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Be still, my beating vagina.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
