You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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