The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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