Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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