You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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