you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
