I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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