I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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