Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
