UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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