Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
