i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
