Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
