Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
