Where did you get a picture of my penis
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
