i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
