she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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