He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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