It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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