"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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