You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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