Me too!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
