I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
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