so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
