yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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