You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
