I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize