i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I look better un-naked...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
