I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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