How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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