Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
