I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
