I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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