he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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