discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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