I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize