Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
