NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
