My brain says no but my pants say off.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
